90 - SARTRE (Jean-Paul). Handwritten notes. 1 p. and 1/2 p., folio.

SARTRE (Jean-Paul). Handwritten notes. 1 p. and 1/2 p., folio. Two preparatory passages for what would become *Les Mots*, including a paragraph written in two successive versions: – “... It is so true that the main aspects of my delirium persisted through habit and became traits of my character. I WAS PRONE TO MELANCHOLY. The retrospective illusion, as soon as I stopped thinking about it and began to live it, turned me into an optimist. HOW COULD I NOT LOVE IT, THIS BOREDOM THAT TRANSFORMED ME INTO MYSELF... I loved it just as it was, without trying to imagine it, like a surprise one might find at home. Whatever happened, I accepted everything. I liked that it was unknown to me: I was waiting for surprises, for gifts...” – “Everything is fine as long as I don’t try to feel the way I think I should. Unfortunately, impatience sometimes leads me into spiritual exercises that go awry: I WANT TO PLACE MY ENTIRE FUTURE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT TO TOUCH MY ESSENCE ALMOST IN THE BEATS OF MY HEART; but I immediately discover that this future is an empty form, the abstract certainty of my predestination, and that my delusion has changed everything except my perception of my life; I HAVE COMMITTED THE WORST RECKLESSNESS; I HAVE LOOKED WITHIN MYSELF: even if my calling were to justify my entire existence, each of my moments remains unjustifiable; I can dream that they all serve my glory, but since I do not know my life in advance, every moment I live remains unjustifiable. THE CERTAINTY OF MY NECESSITY AND THE INTENTION OF MY INSIGNIFICANCE COEXIST SIDE BY SIDE WITHOUT CONFLICTING OR MINGLING.”